Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Wanted: A New David/Dave

The past 12 months have been rough at times. I think that's what happens when your first foray into adult life coincides with a bad economy. But more than that, I've been missing my David/Dave. From the age of 12, I've always had a celebrity David/Dave to entertain, enlighten, and edutain me. I started off with Dave Barry, reading books and books along with as many archived columns as the internet could hold. Soon after, I transitioned to David Sedaris. This was nice, because he was actually producing new material at the time I was reading him. There was even a brief time when two of David Cross's stand-up albums were basically played on repeat in my apartment (check out maybe Cross's best known bit at the 7:20 mark of this youtube video with plenty of cussin'.) Soon after, I discovered David Foster Wallace. And just when I had finished reading eulogies of DFW, I started watching The Wire, created by David Simon. But I finished The Wire in the early portion of 2009, and I've been Dave-less ever since, the first time since the late '90s that my favorite artist in the world hasn't been named David.

I'm looking for a new David/Dave.

I've done some light research using the internet. By this I mean, I typed the words "Dave" and "David" into Amazon's search engine, and I let the mildly creepy auto-complete function fill in the rest of my search. Leaving out redundancies (e.g., Dave Matthews Band and Dave Matthews) this is what it came up with:
  • Dave Matthews Band
  • Dave Ramsey
  • Dave Eggers
  • Dave Chappelle
  • Dave Brubeck
  • David Gray
  • David Guetta
  • David Bowie
  • David Sedaris
  • David Cross
  • David Archuleta
  • David Foster Wallace
  • David Crowder Band
  • David Baldacci
  • David Cook
Musicians are out because I don't like/understand music quite enough to obsessively follow any of them. Though I do kinda like David Bowie. That eliminates most of this list, and almost all of the Davids/Daves that I hadn't heard of before tonight. Dave Ramsey is some sort of financial writer, who has authored some works as The Total Money Makeover: A Proven Plan For Financial Fitness. David Baldacci writes crappy mass market novels. I've seen enough of Dave Chappelle's work to be impressed, but I'm happy to leave it at that.

Which leaves us with Dave Eggers. A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius is one of the best things I've ever read. But What is the What is the first book I can remember that led me to consciously decide to stop reading. (How We Are Hungry was pretty good.) But can a pantheon David/Dave member be responsible for a What is the What level misstep? I've heard good things about You Shall Know Our Velocity, so maybe that will be Eggers's last chance to achieve official David/Dave status.

The only David that I know of who may fit the bill is David Chase, creator of The Sopranos. I think I'm going to give him a shot, but if you know of any good Davids/Daves that are out there, please let me know. It's not easy being Dave-less.


Adina said...

I have an unconventional suggestion for you, Mr. Snowman:

When the late Bobover rebbe died 2-3 years ago, the dynasty divided and two "Rabbis" have assumed leadership positions, Ben Tzion (a brother-in-law of the late rebbe) and Mordcha Duvid (the late rebbe's favorite son-in law). Perhaps you could join the Bobover Chasidus and attend Mordcha Duvid's tisches?

Trust me, they are entertaining, replete with apportioning gefilte fish to thousands of followers, elaborate candelabras and hours and hours of singing, eating and shmoozing.

I know, I know, it's not exactly "David" or "Dave" but I think it could work.

MK said...

What about watching the 6 plus wonderful seasons of Curb Your Enthusiasm starring none other than Larry David? And while you're at it, there are 9 superb years of Seinfeld, created by the same Larry David. If that fails, you can always fall back on the magic of David Blaine and David Copperfield. Or you can just read David Copperfield. Magic is more fun though.